# Pierre Desproges' best quotes

The most famous lines of France's master of black humour, from Le Tribunal des flagrants délires to Chroniques de la haine ordinaire, each with its source.

- 4 votes · 12 items
- Dec 19, 2023 · H. Legrand
- https://even.best/en/l/1506/pierre-desproges-best-quotes

## Top 12

1. **You can laugh at everything, but not with everyone.** (1 · ▲1 ▼0) — His closing speech on France Inter's Tribunal des flagrants délires, against Jean-Marie Le Pen, 1982.
2. **The enemy is stupid: he thinks we're the enemy, when it's him!** (1 · ▲1 ▼0) — Manual of etiquette for boors and the ill-mannered (1981).
3. **Das Kapital is an austere book. It's a bit like the phone book: you turn three pages and you hang up («décrocher» also means to lose interest).** (1 · ▲1 ▼0) — Tribunal des flagrants délires.
4. **That's the day I learned that God melts in your mouth, not in your hand.** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — On his first communion, in one of his stage shows; a nod to the M&M's slogan.
5. **Just because man thirsts for love doesn't mean he should grab the first water bottle («gourde», also «dimwit»).** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — Dictionnaire superflu (1985); «gourde» means both flask and silly woman.
6. **Never despair of idiots. With a bit of training, you can make soldiers out of them.** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — Fonds de tiroir (posthumous writings).
7. **The least gifted among you will have noticed that January starts first.** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — Chroniques de la haine ordinaire (France Inter, 1986): «I mean, I'm not the one who started it.»
8. **When Molière wrote Hamlet, had he read Rostand? No!** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — Tribunal des flagrants délires: «And so what, who cares about culture?»
9. **Love: there are those who talk about it and those who make it. Which is why it seems urgent that I shut up.** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — Tribunal des flagrants délires.
10. **Death should be a free public service for everyone, like birth.** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — Stage show at the Théâtre Fontaine (1984).
11. **Chirac: here's a man with a smile that would cure a yeti's hiccups.** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — Fonds de tiroir.
12. **Between a bad cook and a poisoner, the only difference is intent.** (-1 · ▲0 ▼1) — Fonds de tiroir.

How is this ranking ordered? By people's votes: each ▲ adds a point and each ▼ takes one away. Anyone can vote and add what is missing.