# The best Blackadder quotes

The sharpest insults, Baldrick's cunning plans and the most quoted lines of Blackadder II (1986), Blackadder the Third (1987) and Blackadder Goes Forth (1989), with the series each one comes from.

- 36 votes · 12 items
- Sep 5, 2023 · Lucy Sutcliffe
- https://even.best/en/l/1510/the-best-blackadder-quotes

## Top 12

1. **I have a cunning plan.** (6 · ▲8 ▼2) — Baldrick's catchphrase, always followed by the stupidest plan imaginable.
2. **As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?** (6 · ▲6 ▼0) — Blackadder Goes Forth (1989).
3. **I think you'll find he left «sausage» out of his dictionary, Baldrick. Oh, and «aardvark».** (4 · ▲4 ▼0) — After Baldrick burns Dr Johnson's dictionary, «Ink and Incapability» (1987).
4. **Captain Darling is not the spy.** (2 · ▲2 ▼0) — Blackadder to General Melchett «to my lasting regret», Blackadder Goes Forth, «General Hospital» (1989).
5. **Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words «I have a cunning plan» marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?** (1 · ▲3 ▼2) — Blackadder the Third (1987).
6. **So, in other words, the Turnip Surprise would be a turnip?** (1 · ▲1 ▼0) — Blackadder II, episode «Beer» (1986).
7. **Baldrick, do you have any ambitions in life apart from the acquisition of turnips?** (1 · ▲1 ▼0) — Blackadder the Third (1987).
8. **I thought that if I owned the bullet with my name on it, I'll never get hit by it!** (1 · ▲1 ▼0) — Baldrick in Blackadder Goes Forth (1989).
9. **It's so cunning you could brush your teeth with it!** (0 · ▲1 ▼1) — Blackadder about his own plan, Blackadder II (1986).
10. **Baldrick, I'd bump into cleverer people at a lodge meeting of the Guild of Village Idiots.** (0 · ▲1 ▼1) — Blackadder the Third, episode «Ink and Incapability» (1987).
11. **Your brain is so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.** (0 · ▲1 ▼1) — Blackadder Goes Forth (1989).
12. **Good luck, everyone.** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — Blackadder's last words before going over the top in «Goodbyeee», the final episode (1989).

How is this ranking ordered? By people's votes: each ▲ adds a point and each ▼ takes one away. Anyone can vote and add what is missing.