# The funniest definitions from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary

Bierce's satirical dictionary (1906–1911) redefines everyday words with savage wit. These are its most quoted entries.

- 53 votes · 15 items
- Oct 26, 2019 · yogi_sf
- https://even.best/en/l/1797/the-funniest-definitions-from-ambrose-bierce-s-the-devil-s-dictionary

## Top 15

1. **Apologize: to lay the foundation for a future offense.** (7 · ▲7 ▼0) — The Devil's Dictionary.
2. **Admiration: our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.** (6 · ▲6 ▼0) — The Devil's Dictionary.
3. **Bore: a person who talks when you wish him to listen.** (5 · ▲6 ▼1) — The Devil's Dictionary.
4. **Alone: in bad company.** (4 · ▲4 ▼0) — The Devil's Dictionary.
5. **Egotist: a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.** (4 · ▲4 ▼0) — The Devil's Dictionary.
6. **Conservative: a statesman enamored of existing evils, as opposed to a Liberal, who wants to replace them with others.** (4 · ▲4 ▼0) — The Devil's Dictionary.
7. **Corporation: an ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.** (4 · ▲4 ▼0) — The Devil's Dictionary.
8. **Opportunity: a favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.** (3 · ▲3 ▼0) — The Devil's Dictionary.
9. **Congratulation: the civility of envy.** (2 · ▲3 ▼1) — The Devil's Dictionary.
10. **Diplomacy: the patriotic art of lying for one's country.** (2 · ▲2 ▼0) — The Devil's Dictionary.
11. **Advice: the smallest current coin.** (2 · ▲2 ▼0) — The Devil's Dictionary.
12. **Ocean: a body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.** (1 · ▲2 ▼1) — The Devil's Dictionary.
13. **Barometer: an ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.** (1 · ▲1 ▼0) — The Devil's Dictionary.
14. **Mayonnaise: one of the sauces that serve the French in place of a state religion.** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — The Devil's Dictionary.
15. **Once: enough.** (-2 · ▲0 ▼2) — The Devil's Dictionary.

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