# Every winner of the Funniest Joke of the Fringe, ranked

The one-liners that won the Funniest Joke of the Fringe award at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, voted by the public from a shortlist chosen by critics (2009-2024, not held in 2020). Which one still makes you groan the most?

- 71 votes · 15 items
- May 28, 2025 · Sam Quinn
- https://even.best/en/l/345/every-winner-of-the-funniest-joke-of-the-fringe-ranked

## Top 15

1. **I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.** (9 · ▲10 ▼1) — Tim Vine, winner in 2010.
2. **I was going to sail around the globe in the world's smallest ship, but I bottled it.** (5 · ▲5 ▼0) — Mark Simmons, winner in 2024.
3. **I thought the word 'Caesarean' began with the letter 'S' but when I looked in the dictionary, it was in the 'C' section.** (5 · ▲5 ▼0) — Masai Graham, winner in 2021, his second win.
4. **Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?** (4 · ▲5 ▼1) — Dan Antopolski, the first winner, in 2009.
5. **I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free.** (4 · ▲5 ▼1) — Darren Walsh, winner in 2015.
6. **You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.** (4 · ▲5 ▼1) — Stewart Francis, winner in 2012.
7. **I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.** (4 · ▲4 ▼0) — Nick Helm, winner in 2011.
8. **I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' – I think I might have Florets.** (4 · ▲4 ▼0) — Olaf Falafel, winner in 2019.
9. **I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.** (3 · ▲5 ▼2) — Ken Cheng, winner in 2017, the year the 12-sided pound coin came in.
10. **My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He's a man after my own heart.** (3 · ▲3 ▼0) — Masai Graham, winner in 2016.
11. **Working at the job centre has a lot of tension. Because if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.** (2 · ▲2 ▼0) — Adam Rowe, winner in 2018.
12. **I've decided to sell my Hoover – well, it was just collecting dust.** (1 · ▲2 ▼1) — Tim Vine, winning for the second time in 2014.
13. **I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta.** (0 · ▲2 ▼2) — Masai Graham, winner in 2022, his third win.
14. **I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.** (-2 · ▲0 ▼2) — Lorna Rose Treen, winner in 2023.
15. **I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.** (-3 · ▲0 ▼3) — Rob Auton, winner in 2013.

How is this ranking ordered? By people's votes: each ▲ adds a point and each ▼ takes one away. Anyone can vote and add what is missing.