# Groucho Marx's most famous quotes (the ones he really said)

Groucho's lines from the Marx Brothers films and his books, with title and year. Hoaxes left out: «Those are my principles, and if you don't like them… I have others» isn't his, and his gravestone doesn't say «Excuse me, I can't stand up».

- 25 votes · 13 items
- Jul 2, 2019 · futbolero.canalla
- https://even.best/en/l/617/groucho-marx-s-most-famous-quotes-the-ones-he-really-said

## Top 12

1. **One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.** (6 · ▲6 ▼0) — Captain Spaulding in Animal Crackers (1930).
2. **I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.** (4 · ▲4 ▼0) — His resignation telegram to the Friars Club of Beverly Hills, told in his autobiography Groucho and Me (1959).
3. **I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.** (3 · ▲3 ▼0) — Recorded by his friend Leo Rosten in The Many Worlds of Leo Rosten (1964).
4. **The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part.** (2 · ▲2 ▼0) — The contract scene with Chico in A Night at the Opera (1935).
5. **Why, a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can't make…** (2 · ▲2 ▼0) — «Why, a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can't make head or tail of it.» Rufus T. Firefly in Duck Soup (1933).
6. **Whatever it is, I'm against it.** (2 · ▲2 ▼0) — The song «Whatever It Is, I'm Against It» from Horse Feathers (1932).
7. **I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.** (2 · ▲2 ▼0) — The opening of his autobiography Groucho and Me (1959).
8. **Hello, I must be going.** (2 · ▲2 ▼0) — The song «Hello, I Must Be Going» from Animal Crackers (1930).
9. **From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.** (1 · ▲1 ▼0) — His «blurb» for a book by his friend S. J. Perelman.
10. **I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.** (1 · ▲1 ▼0) — One of his most quoted lines about TV, from the years he hosted You Bet Your Life.
11. **Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — Rufus T. Firefly about Chicolini in Duck Soup (1933).
12. **Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — Dr. Hackenbush in A Day at the Races (1937).
13. **Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honour, which is probably more than she ever did.** (0 · ▲0 ▼0) — Rufus T. Firefly in Duck Soup (1933).

How is this ranking ordered? By people's votes: each ▲ adds a point and each ▼ takes one away. Anyone can vote and add what is missing.