Coluche's best lines
The top 3 according to 24 votes from people: The hardest part was the end of the month, especially the last thirty days. · Frenchwomen, Frenchmen, this year was very good, next year will be worse. · I'm capable of the best and the worst, but it's at the worst that I'm the best.. (Updated Aug 1, 2025.)
Gags by Coluche (1944-1986), the comedian who founded the Restos du Cœur food charity, from his music-hall and radio sketches, with the sketch they come from when known.
Automatically translated (original in Français). See the original
Top 12
-
1
The hardest part was the end of the month, especially the last thirty days.
The sketch «The Student».
-
2
Frenchwomen, Frenchmen, this year was very good, next year will be worse.
His parody of presidential New Year wishes, «Speeches say a lot».
-
3
I'm capable of the best and the worst, but it's at the worst that I'm the best.
One of his most quoted lines.
-
4
I don't regret going to war: first of all because I didn't die.
The sketch «The Veteran».
-
5
Medicine is a dangerous job: the patients who don't die can sue.
The sketch «Doctors Without Diplomas».
-
6
Earning your living isn't worth it, since you already have it.
One of his thoughts on work.
-
7
Dictatorship is “shut up” and democracy is “always cause”.
The definition of political regimes according to Coluche.
-
8
Not all politicians are thieves, but count your fingers again.
The radio sketch «The Unemployed Man».
-
9
I'll stop doing politics when politicians stop making us laugh!
The sketch «Politics», from the time of his 1981 presidential run.
-
10
The poor are indispensable. Proof: the Americans have some.
«Speeches say a lot».
-
11
The worker knows how the job is done; the boss knows why.
The sketch «They're taking us for fools».
-
12
Of all those who have nothing to say, the most pleasant are the ones who keep quiet.
«Speeches say a lot».
Candidates
They don't make it into the top 12… yet. Vote for them to move them up.
-
13
There's one country that's nice: Switzerland. It's clean, Switzerland.
The sketch «Holidays».
-
14
I know, I look a bit stupid. But the uniform has a lot to do with it!
The sketch «The Cop».
-
15
The technocrats, if we gave them the Sahara, in five years they would have to buy sand elsewhere.
One of his most famous lines about technocrats.
-
16
Technocrats, these are guys who when you ask them a question, once they have finished answering, you understand the question more.
The logical continuation, still on the technocrats.
How is this ranking ordered? By people's votes: each ▲ adds a point and each ▼ takes one away. Anyone can vote and add what is missing.
Is something missing?
Comments (2)
Et « La dictature, c'est ferme ta gueule, et la démocratie, c'est cause toujours ».
Il manque celle des technocrates et du Sahara, c'est la meilleure !